Talk:The Ashenspire Tribe/@comment-5140536-20130904231942
I'm glad you made some changes though I still have a few concerns. A lot of these notable members don't seem important at all. You don't mention most of them save for the important members section. It's better not to make characters who are irrelevant. I also don't really get the "focusing on ogre and ogre or ogre and half ogre marriage". You realize ogres are, overall, stupid and warlike? Why would an orc patrol enslave ogres, or even have the ability too? They're a patrol, nothing more. I also think it's a bit odd to just say "warlocks are patrolling Shadowmoon Valley"; it's a huge region and why would warlocks, rather than grunts, be on patrol? Why are they patrolling it to begin with? Were they near a village, ectera? The outpost you mention later seems to have come out of the blue, as did Kazgrenim. It seems a bit contradictory that you say the clan was peaceful (which doesn't make sense, see my next part) but they attack a warlock patrol for no apparent reason. Actually, that seems to be a problem throughout the article. Nothing has a reason, and if there is there's a broad one. Why go to Mossflower? Why was the Mok'Nathal family exiled? Why did the warlocks take the ogres as slaves? They could've just summoned demons, that's what they do after all. Ogres were hard to control and the Horde knew that. Why open a portal to the Hinterlands? Why couldn't Dek'Thrash just do that earlier if he had that sort of power Background is just as important as content. I don't think the peaceful part makes much sense either; many ogres made their living by plundering orcs, and prior to the subjugation of the ogres, ogres and orcs were at constant warfare. Ogres wouldn't be trained; they were rarely skilled in combat and fought like dumb brutes (probably because they are dumb brutes) The feel you're going for the clan (arranging marriages with certain races/halfbreeds, training, living in peace, etc) doesn't seem possible in a society where the ogre magi don't exist. They're dumb and warlike, not that ogres aren't to be taken seriously. They may not be intelligent but they're still capable of organization, just not to the extent you seem to be implying. You also seem to paint ogres as something more intelligent than they really are when you talk about Kazgrenim; ogres should be used to harsh leaders. Most ogres follow someone based on strength alone, like gronns, Gruul in particular. I don't see ogres objecting to a leader unless they felt he was weak, he wasn't feeding them enough, or they didn't send them to fight enough. Ogres are violent and base creatures. If Mordek wasn't an ogre mage, I don't see why he'd be a threat to Dek'Thrash either. Ogre magi are just as strong as regular ogres with more magical capability than most races on Azeroth, along with superior intellect; though they seem to manage to keep in touch with their dumber brethern. You should really elaborate on what the clan did during the First and Second wars. The only mention is Dek'Thrash becoming a mage.